damn the muse

What's the best way to distract one's self before impending bar results? I'd love to know. I need to know, especially after the lovely nightmare I had last night. It was bloody brilliant.

Basically, I spent the entire time avoiding the internet. My phone was ringing, my parents were calling, the signs were pointing towards a positive result, but in my head I was convinced I had failed! I was at the testing site and a panel from the Board of Law Examiners was even passing out pamphlets with pictures of all testers who had passed. They had a special section for the five timers. Five had made it, and I was one of them. My picture looked awful. I wanted to choke the man who gave me the pamphlet.

Still, I wouldn't check my voicemail, and I refused to look online. The worst part of not passing is not seeing your name on that list. Never again would I go through that humiliation. And when I finally checked my messages the next morning, they were meaningless. I received the letter in the mail, and my parents opened it. It was a certificate stating I had passed, but I felt sick to my stomach. Then I woke up.

See, I'm doomed.

I'm in dire need of a distraction.

Posted by yasmín at 9:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been having to ask those tough questions. The what if, and what's next if I don't pass. It becomes more of a reality the more each day goes by, and though it's not as painful as I imagined, it's not something I can ignore.

I know I'm tired of studying.

I'm tired of doing nothing.

I can't be the work from home personality. As much as a part of me loves to be anti-social, the other half is just dying to meet new people and be a part of something. I need to be challenged. I have to be challenged, stressed, worked in order to feel like I'm doing my fair share.

I've been writing. Some of it hasn't been great, but the stuff that I'm proud of the most is my fiction. A friend suggested I should aim for the e-zines. I may have to go for it.

If I don't pass I may just end up in California. There are actual jobs there for people with legal degrees. Here, I'm either too qualified, or I don't merit an answer.

If I pass, I'm going to be an attorney. I just feel like I'm on the loser tract, again. I'd be so good at it too.

Posted by yasmín at 7:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Don G. asks if I think about the bar exam, the curve, the essay questions, etc. The short answer is no. That's a lie.

The truth is that results come out on May 4th, but the examiners love to post examinees names online on the 3rd around 2pm central standard time. This is less than a month away.

How did I do?

I'm not second guessing myself quite yet, so maybe it's a good sign, or maybe I'm just trying not to think about it. February exams are notoriously more difficult because less people take the exam. The curve might be less or it could be more. The first half of the MBE went fine for me. It was tough, but I thought it was fair. The second half felt like I'd been steamrolled. A nice hefty curve would be a joy. As for the Texas essays, why oh why did there have to be two community property questions? Essays don't scare me, but I was ready to kill on Family Law, and seeing that just blew me away.

Hope that helps. ;-)

Posted by yasmín at 9:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

... caught in a car's headlights.

I'm pretty sure that was the impression the parental unit when I met her. This after having finished the afternoon session of the MBE. The morning was ok, but the afternoon was brutal. It felt like I had just survived a massacre, relishing what few right answers I could muster.

I don't like saying if I aced it or not. I think I'm just satisfied with walking out of there able to breathe. That and I was glad I was able to recognize pretty much everything.

I'm not going to think about this again.

Posted by yasmín at 6:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm actually doing this, aren't I? The hardest part has been convincing myself to relax. I've been a pro at it until the last two days. Then suddenly the doubt crept in. I need to do a reversal. And just so that I can prove I have a handle on my life, I will be blogging the Oscars tomorrow! The bar will not destroy my life.

Posted by yasmín at 4:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I deserve an award or something for stupidity. I thought the bar exam was in a week. I thought it was the 20th, 21st, and 22nd. I've been studying this way since December. So today while researching the so-called new MBE questions, it puzzled me to read that the MBE was going to be on the 28th. I hit reload, and even downloaded the manual, but the date didn't change. Was Texas different?

No, I was just under this insane belief that the exam could never overrun into March. Now I have an extra week.

I think I want to die. Maybe cry.

Posted by yasmín at 7:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I think I lost another student. Or maybe he'll show up on Tuesday unannounced, and I'll have to suddenly pull out a lesson plan from thin air, because right now I just don't want to put in the effort. This really is horrible on my part, and really, I can sometimes wing it with my conversational students, but there is something about this one, he can throw me off. Knowing my streak for being a perfectionist I'll have something prepared, and he won't show up.

Oh well.

This is not the end of the world. I'm ecstatic! Thrilled. Ask me again on the 23rd.

My brain is making plans, and if I make it to the 19th, I'm hoping it won't be riddled with holes. I kept repeating the definition of negotiable instrument all day yesterday. I thought I was going mad. It was also the point were my head felt full. That moment were I'm pretty sure nothing more will fit, but please, oh please let's not forget that I have to go over Sales and Secured Transactions! Somehow I know I'm going to become obsessed with PMSI's again. What is it? It's perfected for twenty days, but after that if you don't file you're SOL. Until then it beats out everyone, but I know there are exceptions. It's all so thrilling and useless. I'm going to explode. Secretly, I just want to throw this all up on paper on Day 3.

Walking time bomb.

And then it's all over. No more bar exam for me. Ever. Because 5 timers rule.

If I did lose this student it kinda sucks, but here's hoping that he'll show up on Tuesday. If he doesn't then more will come, and it's more study time for me though I will be winding down by next weekend.

Posted by yasmín at 1:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I just scored 90% on a round of Constitutional Law questions. My score may go down next week. My scores have been pittiful the last few days! I need to revel in this. I can accept that I might not master Contracts and Property, but I really need the other subjects. I'm going to fraking gloat.

Posted by yasmín at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you're here, it's because you found me via Brendan Loy's Blawg. I hereby promise not to spoil the new Harry Potter book if you happen to stumble across my site. There will be no mention of it for three days following the July Bar Exam. I can't promise waiting any longer than that.

Good luck to all you summer test takers.

Posted by yasmín at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Some how I am slowly dominating Evidence and Criminal Law. Constitutional Law is slowly getting there, and I still have hope for Property and Contracts. I apparently seem to lose brain cells on Torts. I don't know how. I just do. Somewhere between intent offenses and negligence offenses my brain just decides to shutdown and my score goes with it. See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya.

So today I'm doing intermediate questions in Evidence, and I'm rocking mucho booty. We're talking %70, but the hearsay monster strikes again. My Evidence professor's voice sneaks into my head, and I vaguely remember him saying that there were two sections in the class that would always be difficult. Character Evidence, which I'm proud to say I have dominated (I hope), and stupid hearsay.

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm going to have to physically map this sucker out, and hopefully then I can see it.

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We, as members of the class action lawsuit against BAR/BRI, have survived summary judgment, and the defendants failed to get all the claims dismissed against them. Like I care. Actually, I was just bothered by the way the administration at my school was so dead set on convincing us that we were going to fail if we didn't take BAR/BRI. It was do or die.

Tying is an agreement to sell one product on the condition that the buyer purchase a different, or tied, product. Park claims BAR/BRI violated federal law because it allegedly forced prospective lawyers to buy not only BAR/BRI's preparatory materials for the multistate bar exam, but also prep materials for the buyer's particular state exam.

The defendants argue there was no unlawful tying because the BAR/BRI course is a single, functionally integrated package of services. Park counters that multistate materials and state-specific materials are separate products. He contends he, as a law student in 2002, had to purchase both.

Reading the claims makes this much more interesting, especially since I haven't looked at this case since I received my piece of paper as an honorary member of the class. But the arguments are fascinating and true. Micromash has all its programs divided. MBE, essays, or both? PMBR, which recently lost a copyright lawsuit, only offers an MBE prep course. BAR/BRI is an all or nothing course, and the lectures aren't even live in some cities (San Antonio, for one but thankfully some profs stepped in on some days). It's $2000 for some good materials and some bad.

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the outcome of this case.

Via Collateral Evidence

Posted by yasmín at 3:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Bloody hell!

I stumbled across a few blogs that are retakers like moi, and apart from the fact that they rock, it just made me feel nice. It was a reminder that I'm not a loser. If they're not, then I'm most definitely not. After all, this exam is the test from hell, and rarely does anyone come back from it with their sanity intact.

Do I write sanely? No!

Of course, reading the blogs has suddenly induced something in me, and it's not good. The anxiety bitch is back, and I have to beat her back with a stick. Die, wench, die. Someone remind me about my mantra. What have I been saying for weeks? Oh yeah, I'm going to pass.

Texas can just bite me.

Posted by yasmín at 9:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The best news anyone can hear is that they're doing their job fairly.

One of my more recent Spanish students emailed her work to me, and she added in a little experience she just had. She was able to understand someone else's conversation and correct them! I think that's awesome. And if I had any help with this, then at least I'm doing something right because believe me sometimes it's like searching for that single tinted marble in bowl full of multicolored ones.

So, this is good. My Spanish students are showing progress. Now, if only the bar would show me the same kind of leniency. Torts was not good to me today at all.

Posted by yasmín at 8:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

An amendment has been added to the rules governing the administration of the Texas Bar Exam.

An Applicant may take no more than five (5) examinations. [Amendment signed December 12, 2006] However, for good cause shown, the Board at its discretion may waive this limitation upon such conditions as the Board may prescribe.

The conditions aren't listed, so I'm assuming it could be entirely subjective as to who is and isn't allowed to retake the exam. They can think an examinee is ugly, and bar that person from taking the exam.

Maybe this is why I received this letter from the board. My disABILITY automatically disqualifies me from a 6th time, unless they thought I was going to use it as an excuse? Oh, poor me. I'm lame. You use and abuse me, but you so aren't going to beat me this time.

For the record, this is the worst written amendment I've seen in a while.

Posted by yasmín at 7:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Texas Board of Law Examiners sent me a letter today. I was secretly hoping it was a Christmas miracle, but apparently they thought I was old enough to have senior moments, or something.

"Dear Miss V.

You failed our super-duper evil exam four times. Fail it one more time, and we'll kick you out of Texas!"

But I love Texas and its uber conservative folk...

I'm supposed to call if I have any questions, but really, I'm just wondering why they're sending this now. I didn't receive a letter in July when I almost took the exam, and I knew it was my fifth time. Everyone taking the Texas exam is aware of the five time limit. This is just funny, though rumor has it that the rules are in the process of changing...

Posted by yasmín at 12:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

In the middle of question #8 of the property section my laptop shutdown. Thankfully the software kept my spot, but this is killing me. That and property and I aren't best buds. I'm still over 50 percent. I just wanted to be more.

Posted by yasmín at 8:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I had a very good day today. I've never had a good day when it comes to doing practice MBE questions, but for once that changed. Today. I started on Con Law. I picked 15 questions, and I only missed 2. One should have been obvious, but the other one I can let go.

2! I always miss like 5 or 6 or 7. But not today.

Tomorrow when I start on Contracts, I'm expecting a bloodbath. And even if it isn't, today was good.

Posted by yasmín at 2:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've succesfully evaded the TX Bar Exam twice, and each time it felt wonderful. After the guilt subsided, the relief just flowed. Everyone else suffered, and I just tried to ignore the fact that I would be stuck in limbo for 3, 4, 5, 6 more months. See, SEE! Denial is a beautiful mistress.

That bitch!

Being the dutiful person that I am, the papers were notarized, check signed, and the 25 lb application was sent off today. I am now officially taking the exam in February. Apparently no amount of questions will prepare me for the hell that awaits me?

Oh well, let the angst begin.

Actually, I'm downright ready for this to be over.

Posted by yasmín at 8:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

How Appealing is reporting that the NCBE has just won its copyright infringment case against PMBR awarding it $12 million in damages. Furthermore, the federal court is prohibiting said bar review company from sending any representatives to sit in on the exam unless he/she intends to become a licensed attorney of the state.

I'm sure PMBR is reeling from the slap.

Posted by yasmín at 8:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

These last two weeks have been strange for me, and I feel like I could easily drift into the gloom that hit me as a 1L, which would be horrible. I'm in a new apartment, and I should be celebrating, except I'm not taking the bar exam. A part of me feels like I gave up. The other part feels like it was the wisest decision I have ever made. After all Texas is a 5 strikes and you're out state. This would have been the fifth time, and by the end of January I just didn't feel it.

In the meantime, it's gloomy outside. February needs to go away fast, or at least the sun has to come out soon. San Antonio has had a very mild winter, but suddenly the temperatures dropped this weekend and with it came the reminder that no one here knows how to drive in drizzle! Freezing rain. There are accidents down the interstate a mile long. And it always happens the week of the bar exam!

Posted by yasmín at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)