damn the muse

I've been awake since 3:30am, and everything feels hazy. Life goes on, but there is always that one little detail that always stays the same. It never goes away. Images creep into my head of past events, and sometimes the tears come. I'm handling it so well. I think I'm doing my best to avoid it.

Ricky's dad is gone, my uncle, my mom's brother and best friend in childhood. He was working late last night at the family owned gas station when men (or just one? don't know) broke in looking for money. They found him and they shot him in the chest. He died at the hospital during surgery. That's real life, and right now it sucks.