damn the muse

For the last few years it's been almost impossible to enjoy October. Normally I spend the entire month in a growing panic. After all a few short days after my favorite month in the entire world bar results are released, and the last time I put myself through that agony I ended up in the ER with a very. very bad headache.

Migraines are bad.

This time I just felt apathetic. My best friend kept trying to convince me to have a party, and the only thing I could picture was our resulting disappointment of no one showing up and the mess in the end. Not that it would happen, but that it could. It was unshakable, and I'm realizing now that this October was making up for all the last few. It was a breather. Maybe it was giving me a chance to find it again, so that next year I might enjoy it again.

So what did I do? I laid out a bowl full of candy in front of my door, watched scary movies all day, and I ate plenty of Tootsie Rolls. The bowl was still full when I rescued it later that night. No surprise there. I had no clue that the killer in Friday the 13th was that person! How did they come up with the hockey mask? Granted I was switching back and forth between that and Halloween 4.

Next year I think I need to dress up and throw a party.