Have been. For a while. Newsvine has been taking up my time. I write there sometimes, and then sometimes I just link to stuff.

I've been debating about using this blog to talk about the issues that come up at work. No, not about work, but the law. Yes, yours truely has found herself some legal work, though for the time being I do mostly translation stuff. I think it might help though if I started writing down some of the interesting immigration principals I run across when I'm sent to do research for a client.

Nope. No confidentially breaking here.

It's all just thoughts though.

Appalling.

0-3 for the season?

Really?

Sad to say it, but I'm really missing Quinn and Ty.

Oh crap!! Seriously? No. Please say that didn't happen. Ok, they're going to review it. Please don't say it's a fumble.

Yes!! It's first down Irish.

So, this Demetrius Jones guy is interesting. He's not quick. I just hope he doesn't try to pull a Quinn.

I think I'm already nervous.

5 min. later: SOB! It's going to be a long game. Methinks Tech may score. Damn It.

Of course this trick won't stop me from automatically pressing the #1 button each time I have messages. What can I say, habits are tough to break!

No brainer, right?

There's nothing like college football to pull me out of a blogging doldrum.

The biggest problem has always been and still seems to be my server. Making any changes to the templates seems to throw the script into a kind of white out phase. Deleting more than three comments does the same. Since I can now place my archives into a dynamic state, I'm sure the load on my server is remarkably less, but it shouldn't have been a problem to begin with. The truth is my server can't handle MT right now, and my host can't explain why.

On the bright side, I had the best hamburgers yesterday.

Ouch.

I can't even access my local post office. With all the current construction right now, it's a wonder I even made it to Starbucks.

In the book, Interview with the Vampire, Claudia was the child vampire who never grew up. Her makers and victims treated her like a child because of her tiny unchangeable body, but as the years passed her mind matured into that of a grown woman. She essentially became the woman trapped in the body of a beautiful little girl, and the consequences of her creation meant one thing. Even among vampires, her status as a child vampire was unnatural, unwelcome.

Though the vampire only exists in myths and literature, situations similar to Claudia's are becoming reality due to medical advances. Unfortunately, along with such advances, ethics come into play, and no matter how well meaning a procedure may be, ultimately there is bound to be a losing side.

The Pillow Angel

In October of last year the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) published an article detailing the procedures done on a little girl known only as Ashley X. In January of this year, the child's parent's started a web blog detailing her medical history and procedures, which was called "The Ashley Treatment." The underlying purpose of the treatment being to make this child's life as comfortable as possible.

Diagnosed with static encephalopathy, it was clear to her parents and the physicians treating little Ashley that she would always have the mental state of a three month old child. However, unlike a child, her body would grow and mature into that of a woman as she aged. Ashley's parents felt they had to make a choice. They could stunt their child's growth, and remove from her body those organs that could bring her pain later in life; or, they could allow the aging process to proceed as usual and subject her to risks which might include rape and breast cancer.

As parents they felt they were making the best decision for Ashley. But when news broke about what they had allowed, what the physicians had done to a defenseless disabled child, the disability community was inconsolable.

Do No Harm

When do parents cross the line when it comes to their children? Some say spanking, others say worse. According to the disability community, a little girl was sexually mutilated and stunted. If she becomes more aware than she is, it will be too late for her to tell her parents that she wants to grow up and be a real woman.

If her three month old mind becomes more aware.

It's been stated that Ashley X will always act like a little, little girl.

When do parents cross the line, and when should physicians be accountable?

The ethics committee essentially did a cost-benefit analysis and concluded that the rewards outweighed the risks. Keeping Ashley smaller and more portable, the doctors argue, has medical as well as emotional benefits: more movement means better circulation, digestion and muscle condition, and fewer sores and infections. "If you're going to be against this," Gunther says, "you have to argue why the benefits are not worth pursuing." [2]

If a family has a documented history of cancer, chances are that the children will at some time inherit the illness, especially if it's genetic. Ashley's parent's made decisions to help her avoid the cancer dilemma. The also made some choices, that while endearing, makes one wonder if Ashley would have wanted this.

No one wants to see a child suffer, but sometimes a parent has to make a decision. Not one that's viewed as an assault on an entire community, but one from a parent to a child.

Taken from a slightly different perspective, are parents abusive when they decide to have rods implanted in their child's spine because of scoliosis. In this case a child may have a perfectly capable mind, but the pain of such a procedure, and the adjustment afterwards is just as unappealing even if the results are for the best.

Again, where is the line? Is it at conception with the emergence of designer babies, or before birth where parents are given some choice to dispose of a fetus if it's defective? Or perhaps it's afterwards, judged under community standards where a person decides what is in the best interest of the child even if we aren't the parents?

Once a baby is born, and the bills pile up, parents have to make the choices. Many abandon, others neglect, and some do the best that they can with what they have. The case of Ashley X is a difficult one because of what's been done to this little girl, this "Pillow Angel." She's been desexed and modified, changed into a little doll apparently to fulfill a parent's whim. This is one point of view. The other is that as parents they've improved Ashley's life, and can ensure that they'll be able to protect her for many years to come.

Parents have one of the most difficult jobs in the world, but one theme remains constant: it's for the children.

Basically, I spent the entire time avoiding the internet. My phone was ringing, my parents were calling, the signs were pointing towards a positive result, but in my head I was convinced I had failed! I was at the testing site and a panel from the Board of Law Examiners was even passing out pamphlets with pictures of all testers who had passed. They had a special section for the five timers. Five had made it, and I was one of them. My picture looked awful. I wanted to choke the man who gave me the pamphlet.

Still, I wouldn't check my voicemail, and I refused to look online. The worst part of not passing is not seeing your name on that list. Never again would I go through that humiliation. And when I finally checked my messages the next morning, they were meaningless. I received the letter in the mail, and my parents opened it. It was a certificate stating I had passed, but I felt sick to my stomach. Then I woke up.

See, I'm doomed.

I'm in dire need of a distraction.

My stomach is not happy, and I'm still craving the perfect cup of coffee. I want it iced!

I have realized that I need the darker brew.