test
edit: permissions will be the death of me! Thank goodness I own this domain. Error logs have saved the day!
Second edit: permissions and php on this server hate each other damn it!!
It's a yearly thing I suppose, but I'm sitting here trying to ignore the sinus infection that's attempting to develop, tinkering away at all my sites. MT hasn't behaved in months, and I know I need to upgrade. I logged into blackglass, and I started checking the stats. My domain still gets some pretty decent traffic for being somewhat inactive. And yes, shame on me for not doing much with it this last year, but I have plans. Working in the real world just put them on hold for a while.
Back to the stats- looking at the referers was like glancing at an internet graveyard. There were two dead links, but 4 links lead to blog entries written by a dear friend dating back to 2002! I haven't heard from him in years. It was almost heartbreaking. He's still so popular, that I can only hope he's still writing.
I hope you're well, where ever you are, Machine.
Glee recently aired an episode called "Wheels." The episode focused on one of the supporting characters who happens to be a paraplegic, though in real life the actor is not. He can walk. Of course, many in the disability community are upset and disappointed that a real disabled actor wasn't cast in this role, and they saw this episode as more of an insult.
So, who cares? I don't. I found the episode to be very sweet, and I enjoyed the fact that tv shows are no longer shying away from characters with disabilities.
A year ago, two years ago, longer than that, when you'd see a character with a disability on the screen, it was mostly meant to tug at your emotions. Bring out the kleenex because here's the pity party. Mary is in a wheelchair, she can't do shit. Really. This cop will save the day. And everything is perfect again. On tv.
On Private Practice the disabled doctor, Fife, is a jerk. I totally hate and love him. I want him to hook up with Naomi, and I want the writers to go there. I like that he's not treated differently. He's a freaking doctor! And he's disabled in real life.
And then there's Glee. I remember high school, and inaccessible areas, and having to miss out on certain things. I thought, if people could just understand what it was like to be me, then maybe kids would be nicer. Glee isn't out to preach, nor is it perfect. But if it makes even just one person think, then I'm not going to criticize it for having an abled actor in a role that might have gone to a disabled actor. I won't when it's bringing us to the forefront.
This will show up on RSS, and I'm sure someone will freak. Oh my god, she's alive.
Have been. For a while. Newsvine has been taking up my time. I write there sometimes, and then sometimes I just link to stuff.
I've been debating about using this blog to talk about the issues that come up at work. No, not about work, but the law. Yes, yours truely has found herself some legal work, though for the time being I do mostly translation stuff. I think it might help though if I started writing down some of the interesting immigration principals I run across when I'm sent to do research for a client.
Nope. No confidentially breaking here.
It's all just thoughts though.
You know it's a bad day when the offense decides to not show up for the third time in a row.
Appalling.
0-3 for the season?
Really?
Sad to say it, but I'm really missing Quinn and Ty.
See the Ipod Touch? It's nice and cute, and it has wi-fi. I can go to Starbucks, access the net, check my email, and do some newsvining if I wanted to with a 'touch. First, it needs more gigs. This is why I might pine for it in the meantime.
And it's game time. I love the start of the game.
Oh crap!! Seriously? No. Please say that didn't happen. Ok, they're going to review it. Please don't say it's a fumble.
Yes!! It's first down Irish.
So, this Demetrius Jones guy is interesting. He's not quick. I just hope he doesn't try to pull a Quinn.
I think I'm already nervous.
5 min. later: SOB! It's going to be a long game. Methinks Tech may score. Damn It.
For the majority of us checking voicemail costs us minutes. Well I learned today that if I called my own number, I would be connected directly to voicemail. This in turn would be treated as an in network call. No peak minutes spent and no accidental charges should I go over my minutes.
Of course this trick won't stop me from automatically pressing the #1 button each time I have messages. What can I say, habits are tough to break!
Courtesy of yours truly, my parents and I now own this years official ND Shirt. Just in time for the first game against Georgia Tech on September 1st. Of course what would make the experience even better is an Irish win.
No brainer, right?
There's nothing like college football to pull me out of a blogging doldrum.
I'm now on the 4th release candidate of MT. I haven't really run into many bugs during the upgrade process. The only minor annoyance has been fiddling with the templates to make them compatible with this layout, which may see its final days anyway.
The biggest problem has always been and still seems to be my server. Making any changes to the templates seems to throw the script into a kind of white out phase. Deleting more than three comments does the same. Since I can now place my archives into a dynamic state, I'm sure the load on my server is remarkably less, but it shouldn't have been a problem to begin with. The truth is my server can't handle MT right now, and my host can't explain why.
Comments will be closed soon. At least until the new version of MT4. It's ridiculous how badly I'm getting bombarded. Oh, and my server still can't handle rebuilds. It's all so frustrating.
My brother's wireless connection is killing me. It works for a while and then it conks out. First it starts slowing down, and then it becomes useless. Since I'm the only one using it, it's up to me to ensure the thing resets. Then I'm guaranteed a day or two of some connectivity. Then it's back to fighting.
On the bright side, I had the best hamburgers yesterday.
So apparently now may not be the best time to place auctions on ebay. With so many choices at the post office, a package could end up costing more than the winning bid!
Ouch.
I can't even access my local post office. With all the current construction right now, it's a wonder I even made it to Starbucks.
"Lestat played with her as if she were a magnificent doll, and I played with her as if she were a magnificent doll... Yet more and more her doll-like face seemed to possess two totally aware adult eyes, and innocence seemed lost somewhere with neglected toys and the loss of a certain patience." [1]
In the book, Interview with the Vampire, Claudia was the child vampire who never grew up. Her makers and victims treated her like a child because of her tiny unchangeable body, but as the years passed her mind matured into that of a grown woman. She essentially became the woman trapped in the body of a beautiful little girl, and the consequences of her creation meant one thing. Even among vampires, her status as a child vampire was unnatural, unwelcome.
Though the vampire only exists in myths and literature, situations similar to Claudia's are becoming reality due to medical advances. Unfortunately, along with such advances, ethics come into play, and no matter how well meaning a procedure may be, ultimately there is bound to be a losing side.
The Pillow Angel
In October of last year the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) published an article detailing the procedures done on a little girl known only as Ashley X. In January of this year, the child's parent's started a web blog detailing her medical history and procedures, which was called "The Ashley Treatment." The underlying purpose of the treatment being to make this child's life as comfortable as possible.
Diagnosed with static encephalopathy, it was clear to her parents and the physicians treating little Ashley that she would always have the mental state of a three month old child. However, unlike a child, her body would grow and mature into that of a woman as she aged. Ashley's parents felt they had to make a choice. They could stunt their child's growth, and remove from her body those organs that could bring her pain later in life; or, they could allow the aging process to proceed as usual and subject her to risks which might include rape and breast cancer.
As parents they felt they were making the best decision for Ashley. But when news broke about what they had allowed, what the physicians had done to a defenseless disabled child, the disability community was inconsolable.
Do No Harm
When do parents cross the line when it comes to their children? Some say spanking, others say worse. According to the disability community, a little girl was sexually mutilated and stunted. If she becomes more aware than she is, it will be too late for her to tell her parents that she wants to grow up and be a real woman.
If her three month old mind becomes more aware.
It's been stated that Ashley X will always act like a little, little girl.
When do parents cross the line, and when should physicians be accountable?
The ethics committee essentially did a cost-benefit analysis and concluded that the rewards outweighed the risks. Keeping Ashley smaller and more portable, the doctors argue, has medical as well as emotional benefits: more movement means better circulation, digestion and muscle condition, and fewer sores and infections. "If you're going to be against this," Gunther says, "you have to argue why the benefits are not worth pursuing." [2]
If a family has a documented history of cancer, chances are that the children will at some time inherit the illness, especially if it's genetic. Ashley's parent's made decisions to help her avoid the cancer dilemma. The also made some choices, that while endearing, makes one wonder if Ashley would have wanted this.
No one wants to see a child suffer, but sometimes a parent has to make a decision. Not one that's viewed as an assault on an entire community, but one from a parent to a child.
Taken from a slightly different perspective, are parents abusive when they decide to have rods implanted in their child's spine because of scoliosis. In this case a child may have a perfectly capable mind, but the pain of such a procedure, and the adjustment afterwards is just as unappealing even if the results are for the best.
Again, where is the line? Is it at conception with the emergence of designer babies, or before birth where parents are given some choice to dispose of a fetus if it's defective? Or perhaps it's afterwards, judged under community standards where a person decides what is in the best interest of the child even if we aren't the parents?
Once a baby is born, and the bills pile up, parents have to make the choices. Many abandon, others neglect, and some do the best that they can with what they have. The case of Ashley X is a difficult one because of what's been done to this little girl, this "Pillow Angel." She's been desexed and modified, changed into a little doll apparently to fulfill a parent's whim. This is one point of view. The other is that as parents they've improved Ashley's life, and can ensure that they'll be able to protect her for many years to come.
Parents have one of the most difficult jobs in the world, but one theme remains constant: it's for the children.
What's the best way to distract one's self before impending bar results? I'd love to know. I need to know, especially after the lovely nightmare I had last night. It was bloody brilliant.
Basically, I spent the entire time avoiding the internet. My phone was ringing, my parents were calling, the signs were pointing towards a positive result, but in my head I was convinced I had failed! I was at the testing site and a panel from the Board of Law Examiners was even passing out pamphlets with pictures of all testers who had passed. They had a special section for the five timers. Five had made it, and I was one of them. My picture looked awful. I wanted to choke the man who gave me the pamphlet.
Still, I wouldn't check my voicemail, and I refused to look online. The worst part of not passing is not seeing your name on that list. Never again would I go through that humiliation. And when I finally checked my messages the next morning, they were meaningless. I received the letter in the mail, and my parents opened it. It was a certificate stating I had passed, but I felt sick to my stomach. Then I woke up.
See, I'm doomed.
I'm in dire need of a distraction.
I just had coffee with spoiled milk. My stomach isn't happy. It isn't like I did it on purpose. As I was drinking the stuff I kept blaming the coffee. I was beginning to believe that my skills as a cook had failed. I've yet to make the perfect iced coffee from the brewed stuff. Then we checked the milk. The milk that supposedly doesn't expire till May 3rd. It was so dead.
My stomach is not happy, and I'm still craving the perfect cup of coffee. I want it iced!
I have realized that I need the darker brew.
I've been having to ask those tough questions. The what if, and what's next if I don't pass. It becomes more of a reality the more each day goes by, and though it's not as painful as I imagined, it's not something I can ignore.
I know I'm tired of studying.
I'm tired of doing nothing.
I can't be the work from home personality. As much as a part of me loves to be anti-social, the other half is just dying to meet new people and be a part of something. I need to be challenged. I have to be challenged, stressed, worked in order to feel like I'm doing my fair share.
I've been writing. Some of it hasn't been great, but the stuff that I'm proud of the most is my fiction. A friend suggested I should aim for the e-zines. I may have to go for it.
If I don't pass I may just end up in California. There are actual jobs there for people with legal degrees. Here, I'm either too qualified, or I don't merit an answer.
If I pass, I'm going to be an attorney. I just feel like I'm on the loser tract, again. I'd be so good at it too.
There's a conference right now on the Virginia Tech tragedy that occured yesterday, They're about to release new information about the gunman. They just confirmed that both incidents are related, and ballistics matched. They also have a person of interest.
I'm just stunned by it all. Notre Dame played against Virginia Tech my last year there. We barely beat them. It was a sign of a not so brilliant year in football. Hearing this now it's rather shocking to recognize the school, to hear something so horrible.
The shooter is allegedly a resident alien from South Korea. Why do I have a feeling that the media is going to go nuts over this?
